Today while I was naked and blow drying my hair (living alone…hollerrrr) I noticed that my left boob is about an inch higher than my right.
A year ago this would have devastated me, and sent me into a panicked spiral of how I wasn’t good enough for anyone.
Today, I thought “I’ll call the left one ‘Lucky’.” and I started to snicker.

jesusinc:

I love sunglasses, am I looking at that tree? Am I staring at your dick? Who knows!

(Source: treerings-sing)

I cleaned up human vomit today.

So there’s that.

(Source: puppygirl82)

suchaprettyfat - I don’t have interwebs, will selfie bomb in the next few days when I can get my computer & ass to a coffee shop.

  • *While taking the flamingos for a walk*
  • Coworker: you know so much random shit. Come to trivia night!!
  • Me: is it expensive..?
  • Coworker: oh I forgot you're poor. Don't worry I'll buy you some beers.

dailyoddcompliment:

"Something Lame"